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My first time was in high school. When the moment came to finally get it on, I laid her down on the couch, climbed on, and slowly slid in. After a few seconds I felt an uncomfortable friction, which I was afraid to mention. Another 10 seconds and the friction was becoming painful. I remember thinking, “I don’t see what the big deal is, this kinda hurts.” Then I finished, looked down, and realized I was pumping between the cushions of the couch. The only thing that made it worse was the look on her face: a combination of frustration and pity.

> I Lost It to a Couch